Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
