I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
