And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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