I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
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