I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
