I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
