Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
