I haven't been this sober since birth.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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