how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
