Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
