So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
