I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
