well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
