She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
