I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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