Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
