He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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