thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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