so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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