So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize