I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
