I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
