I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize