I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
