so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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