How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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