k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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