ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
