You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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