Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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