If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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