She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
