I think im going to throw up on grandma
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Randomize
