dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
