Can Purell be used as lube?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
