It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
