in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
