why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
