Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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