am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Everyone says I win the strip club
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
