She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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