I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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