forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I wear drunk well.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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