Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
