Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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