I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
