I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
