Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
