No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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