what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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