cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
PANTIES FOUND
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
