Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
