I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just cut my nipple shaving
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
