Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
