the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
