I puked a lego.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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