when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
