I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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