worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
In other news, I just burned my penis
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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