Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
