There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
