No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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