Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
