I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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