Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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