did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
